I Can Be Mad (Pt II.)

Welcome to the second half of this two part post this Pride month. This post explores a different issue but a real issue nonetheless, and I again, risk angering people for writing it, but I also don’t really care because…I’m mad, you can be mad too, come scream at me, we good because I am not going to sit around and say nothing.

So today, we are talking again, about a group of people who are trying to erase people in the queer community, but rather than it be someone from the outside, its people from the inside. I am of course talking about TERFs – Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminists. Now, forgive me if I am wrong, but a feminist is supposed to want the equality between genders. That’s what I mean when I say I am a feminist because I believe everyone should have the same options and also be held to the same account for their bullshit.

With that in mind, it is time to hold TERFs to the same standard as other people and confirm, without a doubt, these people are bigots. These people belong in the same categories as homophobes and racists. They should also completely realise that they are nothing more than misandrists and stop calling themselves feminists. Now to clarify, a misandrist is someone who believes females should be superior to males.

The beliefs of this group of people is that the men in the queer community are trying to force the lesbian females in the community to be raped and that we want them to experience penises. That is the general gist of things because they argue that trans people shouldn’t really exist because they are predators, paedophiles and rapists. Yeah, we’ve rolled back a good few decades here, but that is genuinely what these people in 2019 think. They use the same arguments as American lawmakers as to why there shouldn’t be trans people in the respective bathrooms.

It is a stupid, idiotic, damaging, hurtful and bigoted idea, but here they are, storming parades at Pride events up and down the country, spreading more hate. A hate, emphasised by mainstream media because you get the columnists of newspapers helping to spread their hate, because these columnists have nothing better to do than stir the pot and get paid a ludicrous amount for 500 words on a top to sell a newspaper or drive views to a website.

Let’s for a minute, put some context around the issue of these TERFs within our community. They would like to get the “L out” of LGBTQIA+ because they don’t feel like our community quite represents them, and that we are pushing more for Trans rights than anyone else’s. So, let’s look historically at lesbianism shall we? Whilst it was frowned upon, it was never made illegal, therefore, they didn’t have to fight to have their rights, they just sort of had them regardless. That’s not to negate the fact that they weren’t also subjected to bigotry, because they are, but legally speaking, they’ve never been at risk of been thrown in jail.

In fact, the legality of being lesbian only really came to the forefront when it came to fighting for equal rights to marriage and adoption. Then they were successfully paired up with all the homosexual men. Maybe that’s where things went wrong for this small sub-sect of lesbians. There is an argument that lesbians have never really been visible within the community, although for a long time lesbians and homosexual men were the only people really visible. But lesbianism is somehow more palatable because some men fantasise of the idea of lesbians, lesbians wanting sex with a man, or any iteration of sexual contact, they have been desired and therefore given a pass.

The only reason lesbians have been ‘erased’ so to speak, is for the same reason bisexuals have been erased – it was used for fashion. What better way to turn heads and get the people talking than revealing a woman-on-woman encounter somewhere in your past (a la Katy Perry). Lesbians, like a lot of the queer community, have perhaps left other people behind, like the bisexuals and the trans people within our community, and now that we have realise this, and we’re trying to correct this as a community, we somehow find ourselves being told we neglected the lesbians too. The people who got a pass a long time ago, were never at risk of jail and who gained all the same rights as homosexual men when we got our rights to marriage and adoption. Yet, somehow we’ve left them behind?

I am not talking about lesbians as a whole here, and I just want to reiterate that. I am talking about the TERFs who happen to be lesbians at the same time. The groups that disrespect what Pride is about, but at the same time, are clearly using the notion that Pride was, and forever will be a protest. The thing is, whilst you may see and think of a rainbow flag and just see a bunch of gay men, that’s not necessarily gay men’s fault. It is in part, but not completely. That’s not me trying to get out of things, but the reality is, it’s probably was some man’s fault somewhere. You see, Pride is demonised from the outside, so is the community, and for a long time, the main demons were gay men. Our existence is from a place of fear, the imagery is fearful, and we’ve just been caught up in letting that imagery continue.

Lesbians have never really been something to fear, because as I stated, they got a pass for a very long time in a way. Bisexual people, they were erased to either be gay or heterosexual, so their threat varied. Gay men, well they were going to pervert children, recruiting them, they were going to spread AIDS just by looking at you. Trans people, well they’re just perverts trying to see women naked in the bathroom…

Our community’s image is created through fear tactics, and what do we have to do to try and make us less feared? We have to put those aspects to the front of the line, and say “Look, we aren’t to be feared, we come with love” and if that means that gay men and lesbian women have to take a back seat for a little while in the fight, so that we are all equal…just take the seat. Don’t turn up and pit parts of our community against another, don’t show the world that we are crumbling from the inside. Understand that your rights are not effected. Understand that a gender neutral bathroom or changing room is still separate from male and female spaces a lot of the time, and that you have the choice to walk into that space knowing what you may see.

Don’t for a minute think that our fight is ever over, because it isn’t, but we have to win the battles to win the war, and at the moment, it just isn’t your battle so to speak. By all means, stand up, be counted and help the fight, but do not try and divert the cause. Stay on task, stay on plan. I’m mad because these things are simple to see, simple to understand, so why a simple mind so laden with bigoted, hateful views can not understand it, I struggle to see.

Q with the T.

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