Like, Really?

Life has been a funny old thing these last few months. I say that as if I’ve been thrown curveball after curveball, but I really haven’t. In fact, life has been pretty great all year long. I don’t particularly remember any down points at all, and that is pleasant when you consider just how messed up my life has been in the past.

I guess it has all come from the fact I promised myself this year, I’d only do things that made me happy as a person, and I have done that time and time again. Some may think this is selfish, but I think everyone should take this page out of the book.

Anyway, at the outset of the year, I decided I wouldn’t get romantically involved with anyone. It would be about gratification in the moment that I needed it, and for many months (since last October) that is what I got. But anyone that knows me, knows that this never really lasts for long. I do end up getting involved with people, and whilst I pretend that it’s nothing and not that serious, it ultimately usually is.

So, this last March I met someone. We spent some time together, we slept together and we just got on. This just kept on going, and whilst initially I wasn’t really monogamous, as time went on, I slowly stopped seeing other people. I still wouldn’t commit to anything though, I was determined to just keep living life for me, and adding someone else into it, meant that I’d have to sacrifice doing things for me, and having to do them for someone else.

Time just kept plodding on, and whilst drama was thrown from different directions, happiness seemed to prevail quite nicely. Perhaps too nicely in fact. People kept saying I had a boyfriend, but really, it had remained label-less because I had been so adamant not to label anything. Labels sometimes complicate a good thing, and this was a good thing. I say was, I am still referring to the label-less stage, because there just came a point where there was no denying it, we had essentially put ourselves into a relationship.

It wasn’t a bad thing. It isn’t a bad thing. I was the one who defined it properly in the end, because it seems pointless still just saying we were seeing each other when we’d spent 5 months dating. So it all became Facebook official, and you all know what that leads to.

Shocked reactions, heart reactions, likes because it’s obligatory, weird comments off people who want to make sure you’re gonna look after the other person. I laughed a couple off, but it did amuse me that because I had spent so long denying that there was a relationship blossoming, I got a couple of shocked reactions and a few “WTF?” messages.

To say I don’t always stick to my word is true. I set out at the end of last year, that I was just going to live for myself and not add another person, but that’s because I usually add the wrong people. However, James, he has a name this time around, isn’t the wrong type of person. Everything has been so effortless, and it’s all been enjoyable, and I think it comes from the fact that neither of us rushed into it. Five whole months of seeing one another allows you to really see one another’s flaws, and shows that whatever is going on between the two of you, it’s not momentary. Five months is a pretty long time before committing to something, and I committed out of a desire to explore this happiness in different terms.

As all gay relationships do, there’s always drama at the beginning, but it wasn’t between the two of us, it was a third party trying to stir a pot that had been emptied long before. I suppose it didn’t help that James was the ex-boyfriend of an acquaintance of mine, but I didn’t know this to start off with, and didn’t pursue him because of that fact. We didn’t know anything about one another, but now we know each other, and are still getting to know each other.

I promise however, that not every post from this point forward will be about my relationship. I kept it private for 5 months because that’s how it should be, it is a private thing between the two of us, and I don’t want to fall into my age old trap of always making every detail public. Although I did recount some drunken antics the previous weekend on my twitter feed, but that was a one off.


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